Rubberneckers and Traffic Lights.

Yeah, dumbass, we all see it. It's an accident. There are a lot of flashing lights and emergency vehicles and a car that has been hit by another car and a bumper lying in the street. That sucks for those people. Their day is ruined. Please do not annoy my day, motherfucker, by slowing down to 10 mph so your nosy ass can look at busted taillights. It's on the other side of the road, there is no need for you to impede everyone who is traveling on this side of the road because you need to witness someone else's bad day. Just keep fucking driving, preferably somewhere near the posted speed limit. The traffic engineering in this city is bad enough, we don't need your stupid ass further clogging the roadways because you hope to see some blood. But, you won't see blood because it's a fucking fender-bender, you moron. Drive.

Expounding on the traffic engineering issue, here's an open comment to the city of Asheville and Buncombe County: Your traffic engineering skills suck balls. You fuckers are the Detroit Lions of traffic engineering. Except instead of drafting Wide Receivers with every pick of the draft for the past 10 years, you've "solved" every potential traffic problem by putting up another fucking traffic light. Here's a news flash, dumbasses: putting up more traffic lights doesn't fix traffic congestion. Especially if you make no effort whatsoever to synchronize any of the lights. Having a fucking traffic light every 200 yards, none of which are in any way synchronized to each other makes the problem worse. It seems like a simple enough concept for this undereducated bastard to comprehend, how is it that you geniuses who somehow have earned the title of...whatever the fuck they call you retards...can't figure it out?

I understand that you are fighting some unfortunate realities of this being a mountainous area, and I also know that the lack of zoning regulations in this county makes life tough (yeah, no zoning laws, fucking brilliant, right? It's normal to have a bank next to an industrial concrete plant next to a house next to a school, isn't it?). Someone throws up a business in some random spot and then complains that their customers can't make a left turn into their poorly placed establishment, so what are you to do? My idea? Tell them to regret choosing such a stupid fucking place to put a business and accept their fate. Clearly, my idea and your ideas are different. Your solution seems to be "just put up another light." Dumbfucks. The idea could potentially work, if you were to use a technique many other cities mastered about 50 years ago called synchronization.

It's pretty simple, you put all of the lights on staggered timers so that traffic can be allowed to flow at a fairly consistent pace throughout the entire maze of lights. Wow. That's it. It's so fucking simple that I can't even come up with any way to further mock your inability to figure it out. Yeah, you're so dumb that I can't even insult you. Congratulations. In that way, you are nothing like the Lions, because one can never stop making fun of them.

I suppose I could clean up the language in this and maybe actually send it to someone who could make a difference, but like most Americans, I'd rather just bitch about something I don't like. Making a difference and trying to bring about change is a lot of work, and quite honestly, I hate work. Apparently, so do the fucksticks who work in the traffic engineering department.