No Witty Title Today.

When I got into my truck this afternoon to come to work (yeah, I write my blog at work…who doesn’t?) I decided that I wanted to listen to something different. I have a fairly decent CD collection in my ride, but tend to stick to a rotation of the same 15-20 albums (mostly because they are the ones that aren't scratched). Today, I wanted something out of the rotation. So, I flip through my CD binder thingy and there it is, calling out to me with a bright red face…the Ultimate 80’s hair band compilation. Hell yes, I’m going high pitched scream my way to work.

You may be wondering “Matt, why the fuck do you have an ultimate 80’s hair band compilation?” The honest answer is that in 2005, on the second of my two drives across the country while moving from AZ to NC, I was getting bored with the music in my available collection. At a truck stop in some redneck Oklahoma town, I decided to drop $3 and relive some glorious 80’s music for a few miles. Hell, I was in Oklahoma, it actually seemed fitting. Perhaps rocking out to some Warrant would help me keep from getting my ass kicked should I have any run-ins with the locals. At the time, it was a safety measure easily worth 3 bucks. Plus, it was either that or Garth Brooks, and well, hair bands win. Seriously, they had 2 CDs.

I put the CD in and am immediately greeted by some Whitesnake. Here I go again on my own…aw yeah. Going down the only road I can to get to work. Yeah, I change lyrics sometimes. You don't? You should. Try it, it's fun. The next song, however, is where I get disappointed. It's “Wind of Change” by the Scorpions. Don’t get me wrong; when I heard that unmistakable whistling intro, I was into it. Here I am, driving in the rain, whistling like an idiot. Thank God no one can see me in my car when I’m driving (yeah, I’m taking a shot at you, in-car nose pickers). I remember when it came out; I thought that song was so deep, so meaningful. I’m sure it had everything to do with me being in high school at the time, thinking I knew something about international politics because I could find Berlin on a map and watched the CBS Evening News with Dan Rather while Mr. Gorbachev “[tore] down that wall.” Now, 20 years later, as I listen to the lyrics, it’s actually a pretty unimpressive song. The lyrics are fairly benign, and really don’t say much of anything beyond “Take me to the magic of a moment of a glory night,” which really could be about almost anything. Insert that line into any love song; it works. Insert that line into any song about getting high; it works. Shit, if you could find a way to work it into “Drop It Like It’s Hot”…it would probably work. While some would say that sort of versatility makes a lyric great, I would say it makes it fairly generic. I understand that there is meaning behind the song because of the timeframe in which it was released, but meaning doesn't always make up for lacking quality. I know I'm being picky, but it's my blog, motherfuckers, deal with it.

So there I am, driving and thinking “Damn, it’s just not the same anymore.” Not that I ever listen to the song, not that I ever listen to anything by the Scorpions, but it’s one of those songs I vividly remember from my teenage years and now will think “Meh” anytime I hear it. However, my disappointment was soon just a memory as I got blasted by a live version of Tesla’s remake of “Signs” (originally done by the Five Man Electrical Band)…and everything is o.k. I’m air drumming on my steering wheel like a retard once again. Thank you, Tesla.

There is a lesson to be learned here, and that lesson is that the next time you are tempted to play that Ultimate 80’s hair band compilation, you shouldn’t. It can do little more than taint the past.